Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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