Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize