she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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