If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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