I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize