You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize