I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
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i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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