i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize