Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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