Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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