Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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