we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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