just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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