She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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