Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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