so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize