guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize