I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
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Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
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Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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