I think my fart just growled at me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize