small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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