I heard we made out
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize