So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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