Christians are straight up FREAKS
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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