It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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