I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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