We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize