the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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