Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
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Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
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How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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