Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
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You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
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You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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