"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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