Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize