the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize