So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
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Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
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And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize