i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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