doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize