She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
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he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
you're hired as official boob wrangler
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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