You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize