I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize