at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
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I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
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If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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