Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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