The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize