So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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