woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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