I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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