no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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