Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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