I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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