Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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