I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
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I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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