I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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